I almost didn't post for November, but then I figured eh what the hey. I think December will be a much better month.

November: Artificial Flavoring:
1. Mr. Raven - MC Lars
2. Mr. Gambino - Childish Gambino
3. Come With Me - Special D

November: Breaking Hearts
1. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
2. Le Monster - My Favorite
3. Lips of An Angel - Hinder
4. No Surprise - Daughtry
5. Viva La Vida - Lady Gaga

notnerdynellifer: you owe me
notnerdynellifer: a whole taco
DrWolfberry: WHAT DID I DO?
notnerdynellifer: you said you would pay!
notnerdynellifer: and still
notnerdynellifer: you havent delivered
DrWolfberry: pay for what?
notnerdynellifer: MAH
notnerdynellifer: TACO
DrWolfberry: WAIT
DrWolfberry: AS IN
DrWolfberry: "VAGINA"
notnerdynellifer: NO
notnerdynellifer: AS IN
notnerdynellifer: "TACO"

Ugh, that was awful.

Not so much the parade. If I had planned it better, and was better prepared it would have been fun. But not for nothing, people can't text me the morning of and be like "Oh we'll meet you there" because that's an awful idea altogether.

No, the awful bit was the drinking. At 10:30 AM. On an empty stomach. Alone. No bueno. I'm never drinking by myself ever again. Yeah, the first beer is happy and fun but by the second one it's lonely and scary. I don't know how alcoholics do it. And I don't want to know.

I'm not banning drinking from my life, but that was just stupid.

Now I need to shower and go to work. =/

I loved (500)Days of Summer.

I love it because I can relate to everyone. I can relate to the emotional distant, yet still teasing Summer. I'm always the lovable naive dope that gets their hear broken like Tom. I can be like Rachel, the little sister who will ride 10 miles by bike because you're upset about a break up. More often than not, I'm the inappropriate best friend, McKenzie, who can't keep a damn secret, and who usually says "Fuck bitches."

I love because it isn't happy. It isn't sad. It is both these things, but that's not the point. This isn't a feel good chick flick or a sappy, weepy drama (though it did make me cry). It is life. It is what happens when your heart gets ripped out and thrown on the floor. It is what happens when you look into the eyes of someone you love for the first time. It is about opening up and walking away. It is about you. It is about me. It is about everyone who has ever fallen in love. It is about everyone who has ever broken up.

It is not about the ending. It's not about a big closing show. It pulls a Romeo and Juliet, it reveals its' secret off the bat: these lovers are doomed. It takes your mind off the focus "Will they get together? Will they not?" because you're told that without even seeing the movie. It's focus is on the story, and it's a solid story, something you don't see much in Hollywood these days.

It is beautiful. It gets ugly. It is life. Face it.

I'm in love with this movie, and that might just be the most ironic thing of all.

October 2009:

1. What's The Attitude - Cut Chemist feat. Hymnal
2. Face Drop - Sean Kingston
3. We Are Golden - Mika
4. Sacred Trickster - Sonic Youth
5. Drunkship Lanterns - Mars Volta
6. Windowsill - Arcade Fire
7. Read My Mind - The Killers
8. If These Walls Could Talk - Hotspur
9. O Mistress Mine - Illyrian Marching Band (music by Hem from Shakespeare in the Park's 2009 production of Twelfth Night)

Ok, as this is nice and all, but I believe Halloween is one of the major selfish holidays we have. You really don't want me representing UNICEF while dressed as a Sexy Cat. Trust me.

The tally so far:

Life: 2
- I get rejected via text message
- My car is hit in the parking lot while I'm in class

Nellie: 1
- Won Weezer tickets

I have a feeling it's going to be one of those weeks. =/

notnerdynellifer: hold on a sex
LillingBlossoms: sweet
notnerdynellifer: sec*
LillingBlossoms: freud
notnerdynellifer: are you really surprised?
LillingBlossoms: nope

Last night I dreamed that I was at St. Rose for the semi-formal. I was supposed to stay in a room in Erica's house but someone had left their stuff in it, so I told her. She was like "Oh Ryan must be back" and Ryan Storms showed up and gave me a big hug! I love that kid. I start getting ready and walk to where the buses are leaving from, but first I stop in front of Carondelet and start throwing little fruits that fell off the tree. Apparently, I'm not even throwing it at Carondelet, but at some random hall, and I can't find Carondelet anywhere. So I walk away and head out to the semi formal.

Oh 4 AM, why do come out to play the nights before I have 8 AM classes? Why can't we keep our relationship to the weekends? Yes, I know you like the private time baby, but...I have a headache tonight. Can't we just go to bed? We can just cuddle...

Ugh, you're such a jerk. You can sleep on the couch tonight.

on the difference between dead girls and ghosts
Daphne Gottlieb

Both dead girls and ghosts already have your number. But a dead girl won't call you. A ghost doesn't have to call.

The ghost is soul lingerie. You can see right through her. She slips through your fingers.

The dead girl is all bawdy. A dead girl is real. Heavy. Sooner or later, no matter how strong you are, your arms will tire, and you will have to let go. And the dead girl will say, I told you so.

You have to try hard, work harder, scrub and pray and do all sorts of things to get rid of a ghost (depending on, of course, who she is and why she's there).

Dead girls leave you. They've already left. Dead girls are past tense. You had good times. You made time. The time of your life. Once upon a time.

Ghosts are timeless. A ghost can be right here right now. But with dead girls, the biological clock is always ticking.

Science may try and assert that there's no such thing as ghosts. That may be true. However, sooner or later, half of the global population will be dead girls. Or already is.

The most important difference between dead girls and ghosts -- perhaps the only one you need to know -- is this: The dead girl still has a heart.

The Stupid Jerk I'm Obsessed With
by Maggie Estep

The stupid jerk I'm obsessed with
stands so close to me
I can feel his breath
on my neck
and smell
the way he would smell
if we slept together
because he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with
and that is his primary function in life
to be a stupid jerk I can obsess over
and to talk to that dingy bimbette blonde
as if he really wanted to hear about her
manicures and
pedicures and
New Age ritualistic enema cures and
truth be known, he probably does wanna hear about it
because he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with
and he's obsessed with doing anything he can
to lend fuel to my fire
he makes a point of standing
looking over my shoulder
when I'm talking to the guy who adores me
and would bark like a dog
and wave to strangers
if I asked him to bark like a dog
and wave to strangers
but I can't ask him to bark like a dog
or impersonate any kind of animal at all
cause I'm too busy
looking at the way the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with
has pants on that perfectly define his well-shaped ass
to the point where I'm thoroughly frantic
I'm just gonna go home
and stick my head in the oven
overdose on nutmeg and aspirin
and sit in the bathtub reading The Executioner's Song
and being completely confounded by the fact
that I can see
the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with's face
defining itself in the peeling plaster of the wall
grinning and winking
and I start to yell,
Get the hell out of there
You're just a figment of my imagination
Just get a life and get out of my plaster
and pass me the next painful situation please
but he just keeps on
grinning and winking
he's the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with
and he's mine
in my plaster
And frankly, I couldn't be happier.

Had another dream last night. I was making out with Ewan McGregor, and he was on top of me. At one point I break from kissing him and I kiss this one spot on his neck, very lightly and very softly. My hands were on his side, and he grabs them and pins them down by my head. He looks at me and then whispers in my ear "That was very romantic. You're a beautiful girl."

Thank god Dream!Nellie for upping your game.

09/09: September Follies
1. Brand New Colony - Postal Service
2. The Rake's Song - The Decemberists
3. Nobody Knows You - Office
4. Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine
5. Dancing Choose - TV on the Radio
6. Lover's Carvings - Bibio**
7. Lethal Enforcer - We Are Scientists
8. Born to Run - k-os

**If you download nothing else, make sure download Lover's Carvings. It's one of my new favoritest songs ever.

I had a dream last night that I was at the Harry Potter 7 premiere and I was totally excited to see it. One of the Weasley twins came up to me and was like "Let's blow this Popsicle stand and have fun" definitely implying sexing. I declined because I didn't want to miss the movie.

=/

RIP Kathy Marshall

goddamn, is everyone dying nowadays? I used to not to think of death of being such an abnormal thing, but it's been a lot lately. I thought it was just a summer thing, but maybe it's a 2009 thing? A forever thing? Obviously, I should be expecting death no matter what, but this much? A constant stream of person after person?

Is this what life has become? Anticipating death?

1:10:23 AM ajc14snowboard: you never let me come to your part of the state
1:10:27 AM notnerdynellifer: nope
1:10:30 AM notnerdynellifer: but with good reason
1:10:52 AM notnerdynellifer: that whole woulda shoulda coulda thing man
1:11:04 AM notnerdynellifer: maybe if you weren't a dbag you would have met her
1:11:12 AM ajc14snowboard: well
1:11:15 AM ajc14snowboard: touche
1:11:20 AM ajc14snowboard: i was a dbag
1:11:24 AM ajc14snowboard: ill admit it
1:11:31 AM ajc14snowboard: ill step down off the ego platform here
1:11:36 AM ajc14snowboard: and admit i was wrong
1:11:40 AM notnerdynellifer: wow
1:11:44 AM notnerdynellifer: its about time
1:11:47 AM ajc14snowboard: lol
1:11:48 AM ajc14snowboard: i know
1:11:50 AM notnerdynellifer: i never thought i would see the day
1:12:04 AM ajc14snowboard: well i felt bad about it soon after but i knew you were pissed to i wanted togive you your space
1:12:13 AM ajc14snowboard: and when we talked this summer
1:12:17 AM ajc14snowboard: i got the same vibe
1:12:20 AM ajc14snowboard: so here i am
1:12:21 AM ajc14snowboard: lol
1:12:27 AM ajc14snowboard: admitting im wrong
1:12:30 AM ajc14snowboard: which iwas
1:12:49 AM ajc14snowboard: and ive learned my lesson about being a doucher
1:12:54 AM ajc14snowboard: shits not cool
1:12:56 AM ajc14snowboard: by any means
1:13:41 AM notnerdynellifer: heres where is you said "im sorry" i would believe it
1:14:03 AM notnerdynellifer: its called a cue
1:14:06 AM ajc14snowboard: haha
1:14:09 AM ajc14snowboard: i am sorry though
1:14:15 AM ajc14snowboard: ive meant it the whole time
1:14:17 AM ajc14snowboard: i really have
1:14:23 AM notnerdynellifer: apology accepted

What's the color of that flag I see?

My Summer 2009 mixes suck

But so did the Summer of 2009, so what did you expect?

Part I: This Scene Is Dead (Like Everyone Else)
1. Belt Loops - The Films
2. Hey Teacher - Louis XIV
3. Banquet - Bloc Party
4. Little Lover's So Polite - Silversun Pickups
5. Neighborhood #3 (Lights Out) - Arcade Fire
6. This Scene Is Dead - We Are Scientists

Interlude: You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Part 2: So Baby Hit The Lights
1. The Downfall of Us All - A Day To Remember
2. My Own Worst Enemy - Lit
3. Self Esteem - The Offspring
4. Custom Concern - Modest Mouse
5. Jamie All Over - Mayday Parade
6. Weightless - All Time Low
7. Hey Six - Patent Pending
8. If It Means A Lot to You - A Day To Remember

( Disney Princess Meme )

Albany was fun fun times. It was nice to see everybody and I was glad to visit. I'm about to pass out.

Happy 25th Anniversary to my parents! How they did it idfk but hey, we're here and we're happy.

Dear Douchebag,

You're a douchebag. I am awesome. Obviously, we're incompatible.

Suck it.

xoxo
Nellie